Sometimes a person can have very wrong thoughts about something, leading to regret. This regret then never leaves the heart. Something similar happened to me.
When I finished my second-year exams, I had a break. One day, I was sitting at home feeling bored. The weather was quite pleasant with a light drizzle and dark clouds covering the sky. Suddenly, my friends came over and suggested we go to Clifton. I asked my mother for permission and went to enjoy the weather with them. When we arrived, the rain got heavier. There was a crowd of people on the beach enjoying the rain. We took out food from the basket and put it on the table, laughing and joking around.
After a while, we noticed some boys staring at us. Whenever we looked their way, they would turn away. So, we kept an eye on them, hoping they would get uncomfortable and leave, but it had the opposite effect. Their confidence grew, and they came closer and started bothering us more. Some of the girls found it amusing, while others didn't like it. Among those boys, one stood out—he was sitting alone on a wall while the rest were near the waves. He had a dignified presence and a pleasant face. He was smiling at his friends' antics.
The boys bothered us so much that it became difficult to get rid of them. Finally, one of the girls complained to a police officer, and they were all caught, except for the boy who had been watching from a distance. He stepped forward, spoke to the police officer, took out some money from his pocket, and got his friends released. We girls, frightened, headed back home.
A long time passed since this incident, but the memory of that boy remained etched in my heart. I wished I could meet him again, hoping he could be like a brother to me. I had neither a brother nor a sister. Gradually, the memory of that incident faded away.
One day, while I was at my office, I saw that boy again. I was very happy, ran to him, brought him to my seat, offered him a chair, and ordered tea. He smiled warmly. When I asked, he told me his name was Mehrban Khan, and he had come from Peshawar to study here. He asked for my home address, which I gave him, and insisted he visit our house. He promised to come and left.
A week later, he came to our house. I introduced him to my family, and they liked him too. I felt a sisterly love for him, and he felt the same for me. He would say, "I have one sister, Shaista, and the other one is you." Whenever he came to our house, it brought happiness to everyone. His way of speaking and mannerisms were very pleasant. He always dressed well and spoke nicely. He started visiting our house almost every day. When I didn't meet him, my heart felt restless. I even put his picture in our drawing room because I had accepted Mehrban as my brother, and my parents had accepted him as their son.
We would go to the nearby park together, eat snacks, drink cold drinks, and in the end, he would wipe his mouth with my scarf. When I protested, he would say, "I do the same with Shaista's scarf too. If you mind, keep minding." He was very polite and never said anything inappropriate or unethical. Despite all his good qualities, he had some bad habits too. He worked part-time and also asked for money from home, then spent it all at cafes and on smoking with his friends. He was very extravagant. I advised him against wasting money, but he didn't listen. When I got upset, he would relent and stop being extravagant. He stopped asking for money from home and reduced his smoking. He never hid anything from me, except one thing. He never told me where he went from Thursday evening to Friday evening. He said he visited relatives. I insisted on going with him one day to see where he went. Finally, exasperated, he agreed and told me to get ready. I was very happy. He took my father's motorcycle and brought me to a cinema, saying, "This is where I am with my friends." I got very angry, but he said, "You insisted, so here we are. The movie is good, watch it if you want, otherwise let's go back home, and don't ask me again where I go on Thursdays." We went back home without watching the movie.
After that, I was upset with Mehrban for several days. He often talked about his relatives and his younger sister Shaista, who loved him very much. She always took care of him and made delicious tea. When Mehrban refused to eat at our house two or three times, I had to end my anger, and then he ate. All my friends knew about the bond between Mehrban and me. They often teased me, believing that no man in this day and age could truly consider a girl his sister. They thought that the bond of a pretend brother and sister was suspicious and could easily turn into something inappropriate. When I tried to convince them otherwise, they would laugh at me, making me feel very bad and humiliated.
One day, when they were teasing me about Mehrban, I told them, "Test him however you want. Mehrban Khan's heart is like that of a real brother to me." They said, "Alright, why don't you test him yourself? You will see the truth in our words. He will reveal what’s hidden in his heart, and you will see the reality." I was confident in Mehrban's love, so I agreed. They taught me to tell him that I love him so much that I want to marry him. This would test his love. I foolishly agreed to their plan. Just then, Mehrban arrived. He said, "Let's go to the market. Eid is coming up. I'll be going home a few days before Eid, and I want to take you shopping. You can also pick out bangles and an outfit for Shaista." I replied, "No, I need to talk to you about something important today." My friends were eavesdropping on our conversation from behind a curtain.
I told Mehrban, "Our brother-sister love cannot continue because such pretend relationships are not trustworthy, and the world doesn't trust them either. I do love you, sincerely, so much that I can't live without you, but my feelings have changed. I want to marry you. I think you feel the same way but haven't said anything out of respect. I’m sure you won’t reject my wish."
Hearing this, Mehrban's face fell. He looked at me in shock for a moment, then said, "You have tainted such pure feelings. I wish I had died before hearing this from you. I always considered you my real sister and always will." His face turned red with anger, as if I had insulted him. Without another word, he got up and left. That day, I lost the love and affection of a brother. I sat lifelessly on the chair, staring at the sofa where Mehrban had been sitting a little while ago. My friends rushed in and tried to shake me out of it. That day, I cried more than I had ever cried before.
My peace was shattered. I couldn’t find any comfort. My mother scolded me, saying, "Why did you make such a joke with him?" How could I have known that testing him would cost me the love of a brother? Many years passed, and he neither returned nor contacted us. My parents tried very hard to reconcile with him because they too had accepted him as a son. They were deeply hurt by his estrangement, although it was my fault. I foolishly took a bet from my friends. Many years have passed since then. I got married and am now a mother of four children and a wife to a good husband, but this regret still lingers in my heart. If only Mehrban had forgiven me, understanding that I was just a foolish girl. If only he had come to see my parents, who are no longer in this world, I would have explained everything and asked for his forgiveness. But that didn't happen. Once he left, he never came back. It's true that words once spoken and arrows once released never return.
No comments: